that’s a real fancy way of saying “I’m a huge geek”
im using this phrase from now on
Falling Stars (by JuergenBuergin)
There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.
CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH
This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.
She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death. Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.
Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.
Ching Shih said fuck that.
She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.
For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.
tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.
i will be as badass as she
You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.
She won being a pirate.
She got history’s high score.
A flower for you, my lady.
Sloths are what happens when coconuts come alive
That comment makes sense
hi im a woman living in a post apocalyptic environment/desert island on a tv show and i have the smoothest armpits u have ever seen
hi im a woman in medieval times and my eyebrows r perfect and I have no leg hair
hello im a viking woman in a movie and i have a thin and trim waist and a huge rack and perfect eyeliner
Hi I’m a woman in a world without power and I wake up with perfectly curled hair
I just made the most inhuman noise
WHEN IT REALIZES THE PERSON IS STILL THERE AND GOES BACK TO BEING ‘DEAD’oh my god
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN CINEMA HISTORY AN AMERICAN MADE MOVIE SWAPS FANATICAL PATRIOTISM FOR BASIC HUMAN DECENCY EVEN THOUGH THE MOVIE ITSELF IS CALLED CAPTAIN AMERICA AND IT DOESN’T GET ANY MORE PATRIOTIC THAN THAT BUT MARVEL CHOSE A DIFFERENT PATH AND I’M THANKFUL FOR THAT pardon my capslock
and in a fantastic plot twist, the answer was not to nuke the enemy
one time I overslept and my mom came into my room to wake me up and said “you had better get up or else you’ll be rushing”. I wanted to say “if I’m rushing then so be it” but since I was still half asleep my mind changed “rushing” to “Russian”, I rolled over and said “if I’m Russian, soviet” and to this day it’s the best joke I’ve ever made
Project for my Social Psych class last semester. This poster series was created to 1) challenge these internalized stereotypes by bringing them to the viewer’s attention and 2) expand the range of role models by including a diverse group of women. Each poster follows the same basic pattern: a woman who has demonstrated her competency in a particular area refutes the stereotype that appears above her in the form of “Girls can’t …”. While the posters target girls ranging from children to young adults, I expect the message would also cause people outside that demographic to question their own beliefs about women and power. I designed each aspect of the posters with several principles of social psychology in mind:
By Kai Bohm